| I walk along an endless stretch of sand and see only mountains in
the distance. A hazy black horizon hangs over the land and the air
stirs from the warmth rising off the desert floor, now finally able
to escape its prison having been locked away by the oppressive heat
of the midday. I look above me and the stars are visible but my mind
is clouded. I lose track of my feet and I forget whether I'm walking
or not.
It seems now that I'm lying down on my back, perhaps naked. Wisps
of violet and fuscia mingle with threads of silver and silent birds
leave trails of sparkles. I can hear the ocean somewhere near and
the rustle of leaves is also audible. I feel my body lighten and
I reach out suddenly as my head starts to spin. I have lost my sense
of balance and though the world seems
still, I feel as though I am whirling around as if I were passing
through and Empyrean portal.
Suddenly I snap back to consciousness and find myself on my hands
and knees, bent over examining the ground. A cold chill has spread
across my back and I feel a growing presence around me. I look up
take in my surroundings. I am on a lightly wooded hillside in what
is likely Sho country. A few meters away is a figure with its back
turned toward me.
At first I believe this figure to be a person and, instinctively
now, prepare to run. But as I assess his manner, I notice a slight
glow about its body and a
general translucence to its garments and body. This is no person,
but a spectre, a phantom. I can feel its cold unlife from here.
The figure stands roughly as tall as I do and is clothed in a strange
garb. It bears no weapons and does not appear in any way to be threatening.
It has not yet noticed me and so as seconds pass and I am in no
apparent danger, my fear is replaced with curiosity. It is walking
slowly away from me and something strikes me as odd...what could
it be?
Walking. This figure is walking.
Now I probably don't need to explain why this is so curious, but
perhaps some are not so acquainted with my world. It is very strange
to see some walk for everyone I know runs. No one has need to walk
anywhere. Of course there are occassions when we will walk short
distances, but most anyone who has somewhere to go will run there.
So to see someone walking is as odd as seeing someone stand on their
head.
I watch this spectre and follow its progress. As my eyes adjust
to the milky blackness I can see a ring of stones to which it is
headed. I decide to try to gain a better vantage and at the same
time hide myself should the situtation turn dangerous. I spy a tree
nearby and scout out a branch which would make a good perch. I move
quitely toward the tree and attempt to swing myself up onto the
branch.
My arms pass right through the tree. I look at my hands and notice
that I too have a spectral, ghastly glow. My hart stops. Am I dead?
I reach for the tree again, this time with more deliberation. Indeed
I pass right through. I am but a spectre on this earth. How has
this happened? Am I the victim of some horrible curse which dooms
my soul to roam Dereth? I feel panic and rage swelling inside me
like a swollen river behind a damn. In my terror I turn frantically,
looking for someone to dispell the curse, to wake me
from my nightmare.
As I turn, I notice the spectral figure has stopped. I can see
a face behind the folds of a white robe, though I cannot make out
its features. It has turned to face me and raises its hand. Slowly
it beckons me with a bony finger. I feel afraid but find a part
of me that feels comforted. Still in shock at being ghostly, my
mind is empty of all thoughts. The ring of stones cast black shadows
over the place but the spectre is clearly illuminated in the center
of the ring by the partial moonlight and by its own, pearly glow.
As I step inside the ring, the spectre lowers its arm and motions
for me to be still. I notice suddenly that the inside of the ring
is illuminated as if by
daylight and that my vision must previously have been clouded for
now I can clearly see features in the distance where before I only
saw blackness. I also realize that a melody is playing. I can hear
music clearly though its origins are not apparent. The melody is
haunting and quiet, the product of a single horn though there are
other sounds to accompany it made by instruments unknown to me.
It is a sombre music which speaks of a greath depth of feeling and
immediately fills me with emotion.
I do not know how long I stood there, trance-like, listening to
the melody, but when the music is interrupted I sense that I have
been away for a long
time. The interruption is in the form of a voice that fills the
inside of my head with a quiet, labored tone evoking images of someone
who has not spoken in many centuries. There is a saddness to the
sound and the syllables seem to take shape from the tones of the
melody, emerging from the music till there is only the voice. At
first I cannot make out words, only the rise
and fall of speech. But then suddenly I begin to understand what
is being said.
"Look inside yourself." The voice pauses for a moment.
"You too may find the contentment we once knew. You must unlock
the answers inside yourself."
As the voice stops, I notice that it is daylight now. It seemed
as if suddenly my vision had returned after having been inside myself
for a long period of time. It seems that only now was I returning
to consciousness. I look across the circle of stones at the spectral
figure who had guided me to this place of
visions and watch as its arms raise above its head in an arc of
light and in an instant, the spectre vanishes.
* * * * * * *
As I transcribe this memory I grasp my pen more firmly and take
a deep breath, glad to be of solid flesh and blood. Glad to be of
this earth. But what troubles me is that I cannot say for certain
if it ever really happened. The images are vivid in my mind, the
horror of watching my hands pass through the tree, the serenity
of that beautiful melody. I feel certain that
all of this really happened and that it was not simply a dream.
But maybe it was a dream? Maybe I am the unwitting recipient of
some dark magical spell which has implanted this memory on my mind?
I know only that at a time when I felt hopeless, I asked for an
answer, a sign, something to give me hope. I can only feel that
the answer lies within this experience/memory/vision. I am not really
sure what to make of it all, but I know that I must first try to
find again the stones where this vision transpired.
I have heard of such rings of stones now will seek them out, hoping
there to unlock the answers to my riddle.
-Khali
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