Welcome to Middlebury. Build 2000.7.25.

/friends
You have no friends listed.
You fail to make toast, inconceivable.
You fail to make eggs.
You make a cheese sandwich.
The cheese sandwich restores 1 point of your stamina. (1/135)
The milk restores 1 point of your stamina. (2/135)
Your electric razor is out of mana.
Old Mach3 Blade casts Shaving Ineptitude III on you.
Mach3 slices you for 4 points of slashing damage!
You fail to heal yourself. Your roll of Charmin has 48 uses left.
You fail to heal yourself. Your roll of Charmin has 47 uses left.
You fail to heal yourself. Your roll of Charmin has 46 uses left.
You heal yourself for 4 points. Your roll of Charmin has 45 uses left.
<later>
OPEC casts Inflation V on your local Citgo station
89 Octane Gasoline Pump deflates your bank account for 21.50 points of
damage!
Approaching the stop sign
Blind Sparrow bashes your windshield for 5 points of bludgeoning damage!
Your windshield knocks Blind Sparrow into next Morningthaw!
You say, "shit."
Autodrive On
Faulty Antenna casts Reception Ineptitude II on your Mazda 626 Radio
Faulty E-brake casts Uphill Parking Ineptitude II on your Mazda 626
/em shifts into first gear and turns off the damned car.
<later>
Jamie says, "hey jesse how's it goin'?"
You say, "could be worse, man. yourself?"
Famous Last Words cast Impending Horrible Day VI on you
Jamie says, "not bad"
You cannot use Canadian quarters in an American soda machine.
You cannot use Canadian quarters in an American soda machine.
You cannot use Canadian quarters in an American soda machine.
You sigh.
<later>
You say, "Hi, I'm Jesse from Computer Alternatives. I'm here to take a look
at..."
Dr. Rosenberg says, "Oh, thank God. It's in here...damn thing keeps locking
up on us..."
You say, "umm...I thought I was coming out here to install a third serial
port in your machine so you could connect your Palm Pilot to your PC?"
Dr. Rosenberg says, "Yes, but it's been malfunctioning since we made the
initial call. We called back and explained this to someone over there."
Dr. Rosenberg says, "I take it they didn't tell you?"
Miscommunication casts Angry Customer I on Dr. Rosenberg
Miscommunication casts Disgruntled Employee III on you
<later still>
Deb says, "K, it's 5:30...cya Jess..."
You say, "cya Deb"
Deb says, "go HOME."
You say, "nope. got stuff to do."
Deb says, "go HOME. it's still light out. you need to get out more."
/em swears sulfurously under his breath.
You say, "nope. I'm fine, thanks."
Deb says, "you need a girlfriend, that's what you need..."
You say, "nope. been there, too much baggage involved. not right now."
Deb says, "someone young, someone sweet...innocent..."
/em clenches his teeth in a rictus grin.
You say, "GOODBYE, DEB..."
Deb says, "bye"
You sigh.
<hop on HG for about 45 min>
<hop on DT to level>
Dumbass Network Administrator chews up 90% of your bandwidth with Napster or
some shit
Your connection to the server has been lost
You say, "shit...FIGURES I'd be hunting on DT..."
Connecting
Connecting
Connecting
Server connection lost
You say, ")(@#%*@(%*(^*)(*^$)(^@*)#%^*_^_"
You say, "Can this day POSSIBLY get ANY WORSE?????"
Evil Deity Who Seriously Has It In For You casts
You're-gonna-wish-you-were-dead XIV on you
<later still>
Approaching cashier
Drag/drop Sobe Energy to counter
Cute cashier says, "$1.39 please."
[buy item]
Boyish Charm II has expired
You fail to get a date.
Cute cashier withers you for 45 points of rejection damage with Cold
Shoulder V
/em drives home and puts rejection notch #6 on the nightstand.
/em downs a fifth of Jameson Irish Whiskey and chases it with a 2-liter of
Dr. Pepper.
You have logged off.

Yet another boring morning. =/

- Jess/Tamo